The simplest question

The simplest question is how much more can I take? How much more can any of us take? What does it truly mean to die when you can say you have lived until the end of the world? What does it mean to live, if life is nothing but a tragic reflection of utopia you dream of every waking and sleeping hour? This endeavour of mine, of ours, the journey we’re about to undertake, is noble and through the darkest days of the impending witch hunt, we must remember that.

This world of ours through which we drift like participants in someone else's cruel joke. This pestilent, festering, toxic world of ours. When simmered down to its raw constituents, is it fundamentally right or wrong? A place of good or a place of ill? I look around and on every inspection things seem darker and more desperate.

War... Famine... Suffering.. Anguish... Pain and nothing but infantile efforts to address these global woes. Political corruption, religious corruption and spiritual corruption and no tangible way to untangle ourselves from this web of self-serving lies, nor quench our thirst for them.

On witnessing a world changing event, a great man once said “now I am become Death, the destroyer of worlds”. Today I will become the destroyer of this world and, with all of you, co- creator of another. What started with the revolutionary discovery of antimatter from deep space will end with a rebirth... no a genesis... for the mankind! We will start again! We will build a utopian world that mirrors our own... but in perfect opposite.. not similarity. A reflection that takes all that is wrong... all that is insidious.. all that is cancerous... and spins it into warmth... happiness... and peace...

I call out to the soul of every man... every woman... every child... UNITE WITH ME!



Mobile synthesis of antimatter

I’ve been away sometime, but believe me the time has been well spent. It is only through isolation, complete sensory deprivation, that the mind is unchained to explore new heights, and new depths. And what depths I have explored! Yet I have emerged, as if from a chrysalis of sanity and I realise that only now have my eyes been truly opened. With this miracle of modern technology... this iPhone... I am awoken... I am reborn... and our world can be too. This perfect blend of hardware and software holds the key to unlocking the next chapter for mankind. A hopeful chapter, a chapter where desolation, despair and death are replaced with peace, harmony and hope.

The phone I hold in my hand, revolutionary in its own right, is now capable of creating and releasing particles of antimatter. How is this possible? A heady blend of quantum physics and software development packaged up into a simple application. An application that can be downloaded to transform an iPhone into the world’s smallest high-energy particle accelerator. Right there in the palm of your hand.. you can control it and use it to create atoms of antimatter! Antimatter that we will use to cleanse our corrupt world and usher in the new era.

It all comes down to potential.. achieving potential is... everything... I had potential, you have potential and this application IS potential. Today, with this ingenious creation, my potential has been realised. Tomorrow so will yours... tomorrow you can fulfil your destiny and all of mankind’s wrongs can be corrected.

This application is my gift to the world. It will connect me to all those who download it and all those who download it to me. We must spread the word far and wide, by whatever means are at our disposal. This is our opportunity to put right the transgressions our race has committed, to restore the balance, to restore the equilibrium.

A new hope for mankind

I can’t go on dreaming of a utopian anti-world I will never see, I simply can’t. It’s permeated my dreams, my day dreams, maybe my very consciousness and I can’t go on. To keep dreaming of a world I know I’ll never see, a place of such beauty, only to awaken in this poor substitute is...

Our world is so full of suffering, anguish and pain and life seems truly suffocating. I can tell I am not alone. I’m sure many of those around me feel the same, although they have not had their eyes opened like I have. They continue to shuffle around unknowingly in this miserable world.

I must share a revelation that struck me today. Gideon and I were examining samples in the laboratory. As always, my mind was elsewhere, struggling with how our celestial antimatter could be harnessed to best serve mankind. Gideon was droning on, as she increasingly does, no doubt trying to convince me of the validity of some infantile hypothesis she has concocted. It was all I could do not to scream my contempt for her when suddenly, from nowhere, the revelation struck me. Now I’ve had eureka moments before, but the strength of this realisation shook me to my core. If sufficient quantities of antimatter could be slowly, gradually, released on Earth, dispersed across the planet’s atmosphere, then the energy released from the matter- antimatter collisions could be sufficient to trigger a cascading atomic disintegration. Just as Teller feared would happen with the first atomic bombs, we can unleash a chain reaction of nitrogen fusion that will eventually consume the Earth, transforming it into a ball of pure energy! And at the heart of this ball of energy, a seed of antimatter around which our new world will coalesce. We can, atom by atom, unpick the rotten structure that underpins our world and annihilate all the hatred, pain and suffering. And better yet! We can rebuild it with a nobler, truer foundation. A foundation of antimatter!

To layman on the street, this enterprise might seem cataclysmic, but with a true architect at its core, someone of clear mind and iron resolve, I believe this is a chance for humanity to redeem itself. Its last and only chance. Many will claim that I am mad, but my mind has never been clearer. To the untrained mind the loftiest intelligence is indistinguishable from madness.

To realise this opportunity will require the effort of hundreds, no thousands of individuals, coordinated by some kind of unifying enterprise. As I’m speaking these words, I’ve been struck by an astonishing idea... I must go.. more will follow.

Ancient wisdom

Despite some minor antimatter contamination issues, for which, I may add, I lay the blame solely at Gideon’s door, the collection of anti-helium continues high above our heads on the International Space Station. I have also made significant progress with pinpointing the origin of these captivating cosmic rays, which I always knew would be beyond the local supercluster of galaxies. My calculations show that they have travelled distances that are far beyond the comprehension of our primitive brains – tens of Megaparsecs! It won’t be much longer before I have determined the precise location of the first antimatter galaxy to be discovered by mankind!

Since my realisation regarding the hidden meaning in ancient and more contemporary depictions of sunlight I’ve been driven to investigate further what lessons can be learnt from more ‘spiritual’ teachings. Although this new area of research is quite alien to me, it has already revealed insights that resonate with me in a way that feels paradoxically familiar. It also evokes sensations that I had seemingly forgotten one can feel; the sense of adventure in studying a new domain; that spark of pure awe that comes from connecting disparate ideas and the wonderment of learning from ancient civilisations.

Somewhat coincidentally, this spiritual avenue of research into eschatological philosophies of rebirth and new beginnings has, via many strands, pointed to the significance of this very year 2012. For example, destruction and creation are central themes in Hindu theology, represented by the gods Shiva and Brahma respectively. In India, a guru believed by millions to be an incarnation of the supreme God Vishnu preaches that 2012 is the year that humans will become enlightened and this will mark the end of an age of degeneracy. Similarly the Mayan calendar, frequently misinterpreted by so-called experts and woefully distorted by the mass media, marks December 21st 2012 as the end of the current ‘b’ak’tun’ era. Despite what you may have been exposed to in ridiculous Hollywood films and trashy thriller novels, there is no evidence that this date signified Armageddon to the Mayan people. Quite the opposite, scholars are confident that the Mayans expected a new dawn to begin after this date and that it would signify a period of celebrated change.

Consideration of the true nature of both of these religious philosophies brings to mind two of my favourite quotes: ‘What the caterpillar calls the end of the world, the master calls a butterfly’ and ‘The world dies over and over again; but the skeleton always gets up and walks’.

There are too many coincidences here for this not to be significant; the discovery of the anti- galaxy, the hidden meaning that I’ve uncovered in numerous works of art, it seems that I, Charles Mullock, was placed on this Earth, at this time, to make these discoveries. But for what purpose? Am I preordained to bring about this prophesied era of change for humanity? To usher in a new dawn for the ultimate good of humanity? Can I somehow consign the war, famine and death in this world to the annals of human history, to be replaced by love, peace and enlightenment? I’ve always thought we have a responsibility to seek the best for ourselves, not as individuals, but as an entire race. That we must... as a unified people... choose our destiny.

An idea that’s always been with us

As I predicted, the antimatter containment chamber in the AMS is working perfectly! We have already captured significant quantities of anti-helium nuclei, little particles of antimatter that will change our world forever.

For some inexplicable reason, Gideon is concerned that I need ‘a break’ from our analysis; so much so, she advised I visit a museum or an art gallery to unwind! She claims I keep ‘zoning out’ as she calls it. Now granted, I used to visit such places for pleasure, but since the launch of the AMS there has been no need – one’s mind can only take so much stimulation after all!

I indulged her; almost entirely to stop her incessant whining which is driving me to my wits end, but despite my reluctance, Gideon’s suggestion has actually had a serendipitous outcome. Strolling through the historical and religious exhibits (which I know like the back of my hand), a pattern leapt out to me that I hadn’t previously noticed.

In these various works from periods of our history, majestic rays emanating from the skies above. And also, the awe and reverence shown by the simple beings beneath, their faces upturned to bask in the rays’ cosmic glory. The obvious conclusion is that these are depictions of rays of light emanating from our own Sun. But what if they suggest something more, something deeper, more profound? Of course these ancient civilisations couldn’t have predicted that entire regions of our Universe are composed of antimatter, and that it streams out to reach neighbouring galaxies. But what if their upturned faces, their worshipping eyes, reflect a belief that a change can come from above; that a new beginning can be ushered in through a cleansing force from beyond - a new beginning, an opportunity to be born again, to make a change in the world. Perhaps help to create a better one. What if this antimatter from the depths of the Universe is our opportunity? What if it can somehow be used to change our world for the better?

One thing is for sure, I’ve learnt my lesson about sharing these ideas with Gideon. She is increasingly narrow-minded; failing to see the wider ramifications of our research and the ultimate good it could bring for mankind. I will continue to record my thoughts here... these conversations with myself are proving to be the most fascinating of all.

The beginnings of an idea..

We’ve been working hard to adjust some of the finer calibrations of the AMS to tell us more about the particles of antimatter that are passing through its detectors. Our work has paid off! The latest data shows that the stream of antimatter we detected from the deepest depths of space appears to be dense enough to facilitate, as I predicted, collection!

Of course it’s no secret that scientists have been working hard on ways to trap and contain antimatter, but what didn’t make it into press releases about the launch of the AMS was what makes up a substantial portion of this 7 tonne piece of equipment is the world’s largest antimatter containment chamber - a quadrupole ion trap. I should know, I designed it!

High above our heads, preparations are being finalised to start collecting and storing the antimatter that has travelled billions of light years to reach our solar system. This antimatter could change our world forever; the implications for scientific research and energy production are nothing short of incredible! Convincing the AMS steering committee that it would be possible to capture these cosmic particles was no easy feat, and although at times I doubted it myself, I have been vindicated once again. How does the saying go? A dreamer is one who can only find his way by moonlight, and his punishment is that he sees the dawn before the rest of the world.

That said, collecting this antimatter seems now almost.. bitter sweet. It acutely crystalizes the fact that we’ll never see with our own eyes the anti-worlds that I know are out there.. the anti- worlds that I’ve begun to see in my dreams - realms of awe, peace and tranquility. It serves as a reminder that despite being proven correct about the existence of anti-galaxies, despite my ingenuity giving rise to the world’s first antimatter collection system... and despite the years I have devoted to the AMS project I am still not respected by my peers. I’m still on the fringe... not accepted into that inner circle... and now even Gideon, my once trusted partner, has shown her true colours...

Something drastic may well be required.


Since writing about my theories of anti-galaxies and anti-worlds I have received a number of emails and tweets from what would seem to be avid fans. It’s good to know that there are those out there who are willing to remove their blinkers and let their imaginations wander through the astronomical possibilities that my discovery gives us. Many of the messages were full of remorse that it’s unlikely we will ever see these cosmic marvels with our naked eyes, a sentiment that I wholeheartedly share. The world’s telescopes are all clambering to be the first to capture images of an anti-galaxy, but this is a poor substitute.

I shared some of my musings with Gideon, particularly the question of whether an anti-world would be a safer, more harmonious place, but her reaction was most unexpected. She was completely unwilling to entertain the ideas and wanted no part in the conversation. In fact, I am convinced I noticed a hint of scorn, almost disdain in her expression and tone. After being such a steadfast pillar of support since we began our brilliant collaboration, I really expected more of her. Betrayed is too strong a word, but I expected her to be more open-minded, more willing to suspend disbelief just for a few moments. But that smile, a mix of scorn and ridicule, ripped me to the pit of my stomach. I have been somewhat concerned that my daydreams of an antimatter utopia were beginning to consume me and thought it best to discuss it with a trusted colleague. But to lay out my ideas, highly grounded in science as they are, and to have them laughed at? Has she, like all the others, finally turned on me as I always feared she would? The knot is still there, I can feel it.

Discovered: a galaxy of antimatter

We’ve found it! My colleagues are telling me to be cautious with my enthusiasm but I tell you categorically that we’ve found it! And on the very same day that CERN announces the Higgs Boson discovery! At 10.08 today the AMS detected streams of anti-helium nuclei originating from an as yet unnamed distant galaxy. The 1/R distribution direct from the AMS quite clearly shows the spike:

The notion of this antimatter has such a lonely, majestic elegance - a stream of cosmic particles that has travelled billions of light years, tracing intergalactic magnetic-field lines, to rain down on the detector high above our heads. And think of what this means! Out there, in the far flung reaches of the Universe, are galaxies, solar systems, planets, possibly even life, made completely of antimatter. Our vast, seemingly limitless Universe exists in a perfect balance of matter and antimatter, a perfect equilibrium. The idea is nothing short of phenomenal! And for us here on Earth... unknown variables in cosmic equations can be determined, models of our Universe more accurately projected and perhaps the most important of all, could this antimatter be contained and somehow harnessed? Have we found a viable source of antimatter for the propulsion systems that until now have been the stuff of science fiction? The mind truly boggles with the prospects of this momentous day! I can scarcely think of anything but antimatter galaxies; all the cosmic grace of our own Milky Way but composed of this fundamental opposite. What else might be reversed in this mirrored world? Photons of light are their own anti-particle, but we know charge is reversed. What else could be reversed? Is up down? Is left transposed to right? What of right and wrong? What of love and hate? These revelations have made my senses come alive and great work is achieved when all the senses are engaged.

You can’t keep a good scientist down, but..

Despite weeks of relentless searching through the AMS data, Gideon and I have found nothing. One must always have courage in their scientific convictions and I know that even the most respected of researchers doubts themselves, but I must admit I’m beginning to entertain fears of failure. I can hear the many arguments with my peers about my theories ringing in my ears. Theories they described as ‘unfounded’, ‘fringe’ even ‘dangerous’ science. Were they correct? Could I have been wrong all this time?  

Vindication! But Pamela detects merely a smoking gun...

A significant pocket of antimatter has been discovered right above our heads! You may have seen reported in New Scientist and the BBC. Gideon and i are positively jubilant as we were among the few to posit that the Earth's magnetic field could trap antimatter between bands of normal matter. 

These latest findings from the Pamela satellite confirm our hypothesis and we feel galvanised and more than a little vindicated! Our exciting research is continuing aboard the international space station and this new finding takes us one step closer to proving that there is much more antimatter out there in our universe. We are close.. I can feel it!

AMS Update

It’s working! The data is coming down! In fact there’s so much data that we can hardly keep up with the analysis. The detectors on the AMS are being struck almost twenty-five thousand times a second by different cosmic rays so we’re working all hours to interpret the data. One thing is for sure, I could not do this alone! My research partner Gideon has been such a source of strength and inspiration of the last few weeks. I can only hope our hard work will prove fruitful. But why shouldn’t it? There is every possibility that we have the data we need to prove the existence of significant pockets of antimatter out there in our Universe.

We’re dog tired from all the analysis and I can scarcely stop my mind wandering. I find myself daydreaming of anti-stars and alternate worlds of antimatter. Who knows what these worlds would be like? Do they abide by the same physical rules as our own matter world? Has life managed to evolve? If it has, how advanced are these beings? The endless possibilities of anti-life.. anti-culture.. anti-love.. swirl through my brain.
It’s out here, it has to be, I just know it...

A new dawn emerges

It’s been a long time coming, but the day I’ve been awaiting is finally here! As a scientific community we’ve made huge leaps in the study of antimatter, and its part in solving the mysteries of our Universe over the past 20 years. Recent breakthroughs have culminated with CERN’s amazing achievement of isolating antihydrogen atoms for a record-breaking 17 minutes earlier this month, but none of these advancements have excited me as much as today’s launch of the Alpha Magnetic Spectrometer on the NASA space shuttle Endeavour. The project is a monumental feat of international collaboration. The research programme that this orbiting particle detector will facilitate, could quite literally take the human race into its next scientific and technological era; solving the mysteries of antimatter, dark matter and revealing more about our Universe than currently imaginable.

What this means for me and my dedicated research partner Dr Isla Gideon (@Dr_Gideon) is particularly rousing; it’s the most promising opportunity to prove our theory of missing antimatter to date. Allow me to elaborate a little...

The standard model holds that equal quantities of antimatter and matter were created by the Big Bang, but antimatter is seemingly absent from our immediate cosmic surroundings. Conventional wisdom is that subatomic differences within the properties of matter and antimatter resulted in matter’s final dominance in the Universe. Our explanation; far more exciting for the human race, is that the cooling of the Universe resulted in separate pockets of matter and antimatter, flecked throughout the Universe.

Just imagine these pockets of antimatter for a moment; super-high in energy and violent at first, but cooling, just as the matter did in other parts of the Universe. Cooling, condensing, ultimately forming anti-galaxies of anti-stars, anti-stars with orbiting anti-planets! We are truly on the brink of making this discovery; proving antimatter is out there, and for myself and Gideon, finally being vindicated for our visionary theoretical thinking. The antimatter is out there. Separate, and distinct from our matter world, but coexisting in a perfect, harmonious equilibrium